This chapter has been edited due to content. If you want to see the unedited version GO HERE.
JASH
I gritted my teeth against the raging storm around me. The snow must have decided to pull off my scales one by one as the pain was nearly unbearable. I had been through many storms in my life and yet there was something utterly familiar about this one without taking in my surroundings.
Frostflow Lighthouse lingered behind and above me as if Sithis was personally taking me to the Void. Leaning up on my side was Scouts-Many-Marshes. I teared up as even though this wasn’t my late husband, it looked so much like him and it had been an eternity since my eyes had looked upon his scales.
A less pleasant feeling was that of being mortal once again. Or at least the illusion of such a state. I had been a Daedric Prince for long enough that I had forgotten the minor details of mortality. The reason a mortal breathed was because they had to. Small discomforts were things that had no counters for mere mortals.
Would I have really been happier in Hircine’s domain as a deceased mortal? Would I have been happier without ever having met Alex Casey?
“This is your fault, Jash.” Scouts said and turned to look at me. “It was ours to die because of you.”
This wasn’t my late husband. Scouts-Many-Marshes had died years ago and I hadn’t left my heart empty in his absence. No matter how much I yearned to hear his voice, it was no longer mine to be graced by it.
Scratch had taken on the form of Scouts merely to torment me. If I continued to allow myself to feel sentimental, I would fall to this trap.
“You should have given me better protection.” Scratch/Scouts said. “You should have come to my side sooner.”
The moment I had known of the threat against his life, I had rushed to his side. I had been away in order to ensure Elisif was safe when she became High Queen of Skyrim. It was her that gave me permission to leave her side and rush to my first husband’s.
But she had merely given me permission as she knew I would go without it. She couldn’t allow such weakness to be known before the Moot.
“It should have been yours to look for me before marrying another man.” Scouts cried. “Yet it was ours to be forgotten by the man I gave our heart to.”
“And how would I get to you?” I asked gently. “The Hist are ancient beings that didn’t survive all this time by giving into their emotions. I’m a young Daedric Prince that doesn’t have enough of a reputation that would make them give me your soul.”
“Yo-“
“Silence, Scratch. You were playing my late husband so well until now.”
There was a look in Scratch/Scouts’ eyes that could only be a look of shock. I laughed in victory. He was still alive and strong but I had the ability to surprise him. To surprise an enemy meant you could eventually get the upper claw.
“Something wrong, Scratch?” I asked with a grin.
“You loved Scouts-Many-Marshes.” Scratch hissed. “You should have Survivor’s Guilt. I’ve seen the nightmares you’ve had about this moment.”
“Of course this moment will always tear me apart and leave part of me empty for eternity.”
“But you are still resisting me.”
“Saxhleel believe that change is the only certain thing in life. Partings are just as certain as meetings. What any of us have is a moment in time and then it’s gone. Scouts-Many-Marshes accepted this fact as he was a true Saxhleel. He loved me but knew that someday we would part. We parted much too soon and yet our love could outshine the brightest star.”
Scratch turned his Saxhleel head to me with a grin on his face. He must have found the scent he thought lead the way to break me. I had to prove him wrong.
“So…you never loved him.” Scratch laughed. “You spout poetic but I can see the lies underneath.”
“Lies?” I asked in Jel. “The fact his breath is no longer mine to experience will always be a painful feeling. Yet it is his to always want me to find happiness. It is his to never loathe me for falling into another’s arms. My marriage to Alex Casey is a way to honor my husband whose soul has returned to the Hist.”
No comments:
Post a Comment