Friday, April 22, 2011

Sushi, Sake, and Tanuki: Another Viewpoint 1

I lifted my head from the water and Sajoki pulled me under. Blood flew out from the wound in her chest that I had given her. A wound that I regretted giving her and was happy that I would die because I had given it to her. Suddenly I was flying through the stars and the vaporous form of a giant snake could be seen.


"Come home, my creation, I own you. You come when I call." The voice of Hijunaki told me and I tried to fly away. Shifting to different forms the realization that it was useless came to me. I cried out and my form meshed with Hijunaki. I woke up.


The Calling of Hijunaki was telling me to go to a certain place, but I didn't want to go. Why should I go? My love Sajoki was dead and I had killed her. But she had also wrenched my heart out of my chest and betrayed me to Tamui. I hadn't seen her betrayal coming and had been, instead, caught up in my love of her. I still was, partially. Why should I live and why should Hijunaki trust me? Spreading my wings, I thought of plummeting to the ground and ending it all here and now.


That would be useless, though. I had been spending months trying to kill myself and nothing had happened. Well, I would injure myself and wake up in relatively good condition. Killing an obake was hard to do, even for an obake. The first suicide I had attempted I had been too afraid of and stopped at the last moment.


As soon as the sun rose, I hunted. Being an eagle was fun and it felt so good to kill a rabbit. After eating I continued to be pulled towards Hijunaki. I flew to my right and suddenly was flying to my left. What was going on? Why couldn't Hijunaki just let me go to die?


But, no, he couldn't let me die because he had created me and so must feel like he owned me. I was my own person and he would learn that one day. Maybe not today, but someday. Shifting into a human I landed on the ground and let the rain wash over me.


The rain hid my tears and I realized I couldn't stay running forever from my emotions and Hijunaki's Calling. But I could go to Hijunaki later and just stay here for awhile longer. A few hours later I felt the Calling of Hijunaki even louder than before.


As the last raindrop fell I sighed. If I wanted peace I'd have to go to Hijunaki now to get rid of the pounding in my head. Shifting into a raven my mind became fully focused on Hijunaki's Calling. Hours went by and I did not feel anything but joy at getting closer.


After two days of flying, I landed by Hijunaki. He looked down at me, annoyed. Blackness enveloped me as exhaustion caught up to me.

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